My contemplation on the notion of forgiveness this week was not caused by something that was done to me, but instead something that was done to my child. The details of what happened are irrelevant, but the aftermath is worth talking about.

I allowed myself to soak in my anger. To contemplate how I might handle the situation. To agonize over the fact that this boy who had inflicted harm on my son had already, at such a young age, relinquished his innocence to something hardened and ugly. I spent the day plotting my vengeance, penning emails in my head, picturing the justice that would surely come at my hands. I slept little that night as I fought with our decision to let this go. To take no action. How could I let this go? How could I do nothing ? Doing that would mean acceptance, show weakness, validate that this was somehow ok allowing this boy to “win”, to control the power. It didn’t seem right. It didn’t seem right.

I woke the next day heavy and weary, hung-over with my emotion and fury. I laid there unwilling to move. “I’m trying to get down to the heart of the matter, and I think it’s about forgiveness.” This lyric made its way into my mind and with it came clarity. This child needed my love much more than he needed my anger. In that moment, I made a choice. I asked the universe to take care of this one who had lost his way, to surround him with light and love, to wrap him in goodness, to fill him up with kindness, to help him get back to where he once was. I prayed for him and for his family, saying these words over and over until I could no longer feel the burden of his presence.

Later that day, I spoke to my child about this. A monologue on forgiveness and letting go that went on for longer than he probably wanted. In the end, I looked at him and said “You understand why we need to do this, right?”

“Mommy, this is what we are supposed to do. We are supposed to forgive”. For him it was so simple, so obvious, as if there was no other choice. No other choice.

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. -Ghandi